Liberate Yourself from the myth that healing is a checklist

It’s Honestly So Simple (Except It’s Not)

I saw this quote recently, and it honestly made me laugh:

"Just heal your family trauma, regulate your nervous system, break your addictions, process centuries of cultural trauma, repair your attachment style, reparent your inner child, and develop a spiritual practice that dissolves the boundaries between self and other… Oh, and don’t forget to pay rent, stay hydrated, answer emails, and remember to seem fine when someone asks how you’re doing."

Simple, right?

This is the myth of healing we’ve all been sold: if you just “do the work,” you’ll be fine. But the work is never that neat. Healing isn’t a checklist you can knock out in a weekend retreat; it’s a lifelong unfolding. And it’s exhausting when the culture makes it sound like you should be able to juggle ancestral wounds, nervous system regulation, and your inbox before lunch.

Here’s the truth: healing is not simple. It’s layered, messy, and sometimes it feels like two steps forward, five steps back. Some days you’ll feel like you’re rewriting your entire family lineage; other days, the victory will be remembering to drink a glass of water. Both matter.

And let’s not forget the pressure to “seem fine.” That’s the cruelest part. We’re expected to do all this deep inner work while keeping our outside polished enough to make small talk in the elevator.

So let me say this plainly: you don’t have to heal everything all at once. You don’t have to have your inner child fully reparented by next Tuesday. And you don’t have to smile and say “I’m fine” when you’re not.

Start smaller. One boundary. One glass of water. One honest answer to a friend who asks how you’re really doing. Healing happens there—in the small, ordinary, human acts.

Because while the list is never simple, your humanity can be. And that’s enough.

Pocket Practice

1. Name one thing that’s enough for today. (Example: sending that one email, taking a shower, calling a friend).

2. Practice radical honesty in one safe place. Instead of “I’m fine,” try “I’ve had better days, but I’m hanging in.”

3. Pick one body cue to follow. If you’re thirsty, drink. If you’re tired, rest. If you’re anxious, pause for three breaths.

4. Rewrite the checklist. Instead of “heal everything,” write down 3 doable actions that matter to you this week.

✨ With you in the mess,

Luz